Self Aware

I wrote this poem,titled self aware, a few months back. Writing and well art in general have become my automatic coping mechanism. Which is great, absolutely amazing, because as of February of this year I can say I haven't self-harmed in a year (over a year now since it's May). Okay well enough rambling..here's the poem
Lying in wait
jilted, by a fictional betrayal
you approach
a smile flickering across your face
unaware of the wound, the scars
that have surfaced
you pulled the trigger
without even knowing ,there was a gun in your hands
I lie in wait
needing to transfer the pain
pass along the disease
as if hurting an innocent
would magically erase the pain,the torment
that has formed and engrained itself in my bones
I know,
I know
in my head you are not the others
but their face's flood my vision
memories tearing a hole in what should be a happy moment
it's blinding
your face falls as I speak
attacked viciously without cause
confusion and hurt spreads
I'm left alone
no relief from anger
and then the guilt comes
I knew,
knew
not too
but I did it anyway
knew the outcome
saw the future
because it's the past
stuck as the world moves swiftly on
unable or unwilling to let go
comfortable in my own sickness
in my cage

weird

I'm beginning to notice lil odd quirks about myself...you know as one does when spending all their free time in their home becoming an agoraphobe on the internet because it's their only friend....I have noticed my inner voice isn't that of a 27 yro woman but of Dylan Moran...a male middle aged irish comic

So today I thought I would share a Christmas card I made. However, I have decided to keep this card because the elf looks evil >.<. Back to the drawing board with me I suppose.

Well, there she is all cute and very not friendly looking,lol :P.

Lucia - Silence

Progress and the road to happiness

So, Obama has been re-elected. This to me is wonderful and I believe that with enough positive support and backing he can help repair this nation. But it shouldn't just be saddled  on his shoulders as a country we can't just sit back. We have to do something. We have to help as well.

Also during this election Question 6 passed in my home state of Maryland. It means homosexual couples can now have legal civil unions. I feel absolutely ecstatic knowing that by a majority the state supports love,regardless of gender. It's good times folks, good times.

Sleep deprived and full of poetry

CRY

I heard him cry for her
a desperate plea for help
filled with terror
with the mind awake 
and the body still slumbering
I heard him cry for her 
demon upon his chest
I heard him cry

I wrote this a couple weeks back. I suffer from sleep paralysis and so does my father. One night I was lying down trying to sleep and I her my dad cry out my mom's name, he sounded so scared. And I know from experience it a truly terrifying thing.

Hurricane Sandy and other things from this week

Okay, so I live in Maryland on the east coast about 20 minutes from the beach. My family was very prepared for what has now become known as frankenstorm. Hoooooooowever, a lot of people I know and some I am friends with made light of the situation saying it wasn't a big deal. First I knew people who didn't even bother getting prepared and then also decided to make comments that the storm wasn't too bad and made lots of jokes blah blah blah...I honestly cannot understand why or how people can be so stupid and self centered. Yes it's nice that we didn't get it so bad but loads of people lost homes and some lost their lives. Cities and lives destroyed by what is now the worst storm to hit the east coast in a century. The entire idea that weather won't or doesn't affect you is stupid and selfish. The world doesn't revolve around you. Grow up and learn some respect. Ahem anyway.....-sigh- I've been debating with myself for the last few months on whether I want to purchase a ps3 or ps vita. Pretty sure I've decided on the ps3. Also gonna do some shopping for winter clothes and pressies for people for xmas. Oh oh and on a happier note I watched the remake of the munsters and it was brilliant! It's called Mockingbird lane :3 watch it...now...do it! :3 I would like to end this entry by saying my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy, I am sending all the positive vibes I can.